Some peeps take themselves pretty serious & think everyone else should too. We all know & love people like this. Ironically, I don't take them that serious; I try not to anyway. Others are just uncool tools. Not the ones that tell jokes that aren't funny or wear hair from the 80's, I love those people; rather, the whole lot of pedants, narcissists....the clueless chumps & crazy fruitbats; those persons....they wouldn't know humility if it bit 'em in the ass. I'm working on finding the love for those people. Its fine to toot your own horn every now & again but...."...slow it down man!....Your giv'n me a headache." (Homemade biscuits to the one who knows where that quote's from?)
Type A personalities....yeah, I got ya some of that right here....well, I don't think so but certain someones tell me that I have a smidge of this....I TOTALLY disagree (denial) but what-EVA.....I perceive myself as laid back. Of course, if you accuse me of the ol' type A, I will argue with you on this until the cows come home. Rather than type A, I prefer stubborn. Stubborn's not the greatest attribute though but it does get you through some rough ass situations; por ejemplo, el divorcio, medical school, assholes at work, douche bags in life, survival situations....all manner of problemas. I guess, I should think more on how I present my stubbornness though, should I? Maybe I'm harsh, abrasive....I admit I can be both. I aspire to: think about...trying to...work on....my delivery with the stubborn I carry around. I wonder if its about having something to prove? Being heard? Ah....being understood. Being understood is sweet. Is being kind sweeter? How to deal with stubborn....I'm still workin' on that but the bitch of it will be changing when I figure it out, right?
There are loads of things I need to work on. Unfortunately, it often takes a crushing event in life to snap you out of your lull. Its nice though, finally....reacquaintance with breathing, the feeling of coming up for air. Not today, but I had that feeling yesteryear. These days, I sometimes have those crap moments where you realize there is no way, no how you can go on another day, not another moment of all this horseshit, its suffocating. Standing in a line, waiting in traffic.....listening to whining....(I'm whining but you only have to read it so shut it up). Where do I reground? Well, I have Christina, running, fish, books, music, meditation, writing, the desert....stubbornness translated into LIVE you big idiot!....these bring me solace. What keeps me from skipping town, disappearing? Commitment, my word, that voice inside that says, "Stop with the selfishness right now!"....(yeah, that voice....she's a bossy crabass).
