The first holiday...

The first holiday after losing a loved one sneaks up behind you...right behind the emotions that you put away so you can do your life, be a mom, be positive, be a partner, a daughter, a sister, a friend who needs you, a doctor...

I live away from my family so I thought this Thanksgiving would be like any other day.  I think about my mother every day so why would yesterday have been different?  The rest of my family experienced such a different holiday than usual--usually lunch is at my parent's house and everyone is there, more than 30 people come to eat.  This year was different, the family did not get together in one place, everyone had lunch in various places, with other family....my mother was in fact the glue.  

Yesterday, I thought about how I didn't know the last time I ate my mom's:

-Japanese egg rolls ("meats pies")
-Fried rice
-Mashed potatoes
-Fried pork chops
-Fried chicken
-Homemade french fries
-Pecan pie
-Pound cake

...would be the last time I ever ate them, the way she made them...she made them the best....I miss her

My mom and I (middle) in the mid 70's, Okinawa, Japan