Novice parent epic poop diaper change #1: It takes the two of us, a team now, to do so....& it takes about 10 minutes per diaper. (I am down to about one minute now, for poopie diapers--I am a fast learner with wicked hand-eye coordination). Rule #1, you must give them time to wrap it up. Outcome: well, he continued to poop during the tedious, tenuous diaper transition, right at that exact point....and....and parents lose, Jack 1, parents zero! Just to rub that shortcoming in, he pees....everywhere, on James, on me....in my eye, IN MY EYE...really; those penis tents don't sound so stupid now. We laugh & laugh!
Sleep deprivation: The first week of parenthood makes residency call look like a vacation. In one week, I think 20 hours of sleep total is a generous overestimate. Nighttime fades into a blur of a day which blurs into several days....it's all the same. I have to check the day today & the time.
So, I feel as though parenthood is a secret society. No one tells you how hard its going to be; on the other hand, you wouldn't believe it if they did; there are no words to convey this; it's one of those things you just have no idea about until you are inside the experience. I know all the veteran parents are laughing at us novice parents. It is quite incredible, surreal (especially if you never really imagined yourself a parent growing up). We love it, but man, we're exhausted.
No one tells you that you'll obsess about whether he's breathing & alive every minute that he's sleeping & that every noise is him probably choking & that "...the universe is conspiring to kill my baby, I'm sure" (per James)...that you worry constantly that you will screw something up. Its worse when you're a physician I think...for about 24 hours I was certain my baby had Maple Syrup Urine Disease....what the...? I told James--he thought I was losing my mind, who knows, maybe I am, I haven't slept. I don't think he has MSUD anymore. Its crazy, the journey that a tired, stressed, anxious, & hopelessly in love mind will wind you through.
He's 10 days old today. I love that little Jack more than I could ever imagine loving anything in the universe. Also, I love that man, the one who shares this sentiment toward the object of my affections. James, I don't have words for the dad he is....lucky, lucky girl.
I am ecstatically happy, beaming.
Beautiful. Miss you.
ReplyDeleteThank you Dr. Werner. I miss you too, will see you next summer though :)
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